I guess it's been a while since my last post (February 9th!). I have to say that I love this blogging thing but it is so easy to slip out of the habit! And sometimes writing a post is overwhelming not because I don't have the time but because there is so much to write about!
Since my last post I spent a week in a 7th grade classroom teaching science. I went in to it scared silly and came out of it a stronger person.
The week is long over (it is February break at the moment) and I think I can condense my thoughts into one blog post. I had four classes of kids and each day a different class had a double block of time with me (meaning they spent two periods in my classroom once a week). Two of my classes were regular old groups of 7th graders and I rarely had a problem with them. They were fairly responsive, did their work, and I got through the material in time for them to take a test at the end of the week. The other two classes were much different.
Two of my classes were "combined", meaning regular kids and special ed kids were together in the classroom. When I say special ed I mean kids with dyslexia and ADHD, not cerebral palsy or anything too crazy. About 50% of each class was special ed and it is this fact that made everything so difficult. The grand majority of my issues stemmed from restlessness and too much talking. I'm not one to enforce dead quiet, but being blatantly talked over is not my idea of fun. These kids would not shut up. They had no filter, they were unresponsive to my reprimands, and had not a care in the world about disrupting class. A couple of the boys were really problematic and were constantly putting down other students. It was so difficult to get them through any material.
I even had an aide in these classes and she was extremely frustrated too. Every day I spent at least 5 minutes of my time lecturing them, and not in a good way. I really lost it the last day I was with one group - I laid into them. Shredded them. Really tore them apart. "Why do I have to lecture this class every single day? What is the problem? Grow up! It is unbelievable how disrespectful you all are to me and to your classmates. I can't understand why you think it is acceptable to say the things you all say to each other. Be quiet! This is not a joke! You need to be respectful! Show some respect and shut your mouths when the teacher is talking! I can't believe I have to yell at you all every day. Do you think this is fun for me? I hate disciplining all of you every day. I hate yelling. I hate that I have to be mean in this class. This is not fun for me and it's not fun for you either." Etc.
Luckily the aide said that I did a great job with them overall and that she knew it would be a rough week. She actually said I should be a teacher, which is what everyone seems to think these days. I really couldn't handle it. I would lose it. I really shouldn't have yelled at that class but I couldn't hold it in anymore - they were driving me crazy! Maybe it would be different if I wasn't the substitute but I really don't think I could muster the patience for nine or ten months of the year.
Thank goodness for school vacations and a part-time job with really little kids that's only a half day! Time to breathe and collect my thoughts.
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